Sometimes when you fail at something you deeply want, it feels like someone punched the air right out of your chest. This pain can quickly seed the fear of failure.
You try to get up again, only to stumble and fall even harder. Each time you fall, the same haunting thought crosses your mind: Can I even get back up? The fear of failure doesn’t just linger — it grows stronger with each stumble, feeding into a crippling anxiety that makes it hard to even try again.
This powerful fear of failure can paralyze us, shrink our worlds, and even convince us to live smaller than we’re meant to. But what if there’s a different way to see failure? What if facing it, and the fear it brings, is the key to growth and finding your true self?
The 19th-century Danish philosopher Søren Kierkegaard understood this struggle deeply. He believed that failure wasn’t something to fear, but a necessary part of becoming who we are. As he put it:
“To dare is to lose one’s footing momentarily. Not to dare is to lose oneself.”
— Søren Kierkegaard
His unique philosophy offers powerful lessons on authenticity, despair, and daring – insights that can fundamentally change how you approach the fear of failure and help you move forward.
Who Was Søren Kierkegaard? (And His Lessons on Failure)
Kierkegaard lived in 19th-century Denmark.
He struggled with the kind of internal turmoil—depression, anxiety, heartbreak—that often fuels our own fear of failure.
He broke off his engagement to the woman he loved because he believed he was too broken to marry — a decision he deeply regretted for the rest of his life. This personal failure and subsequent regret highlight how deeply he understood the painful consequences that can arise when navigating life’s big decisions, especially when grappling with a sense of inadequacy or the fear of being a failure.
His own life was, by many conventional standards, a series of ‘failures,’ from strained relationships to public criticism. These experiences gave him a profound, lived understanding of the pain and anxiety about failure that so many of us face today.
Despite these setbacks and the internal struggle, he kept searching for meaning through his writing.
His profound works focus on what it means to live an authentic, truthful life — especially through suffering, difficult choices, and yes, failure. He explored the human condition, including the deep-seated anxiety that comes with freedom and possibility – anxiety that often manifests as the fear of failure.
Want to learn more about Søren Kierkegaard’s philosophy? You can find an in-depth overview in the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy.
How Kierkegaard’s Philosophy Turns Fear of Failure into Growth
Kierkegaard believed we often live inauthentically — doing what society expects, following the crowd, rather than pursuing what our soul truly wants.
Why do we live inauthentically? Often, it’s the fear of failing at what society expects (social pressure), or the fear of failing if we try something true to ourselves (stepping into the unknown). We choose the safer, expected path to avoid the possibility of falling.
Failure, heartbreak, loss — Kierkegaard saw these not just as painful events, but as forces that can smash the “false life” we’re building. They wake us up, forcing us to confront reality and ask: Who am I really, beneath these expectations and fears?
“The most common form of despair is not being who you are.”
— Søren Kierkegaard
For Kierkegaard, true despair isn’t failing at a task; it’s refusing to change or refusing to know yourself after failing. It’s remaining stuck in the inauthentic self out of fear. This perspective shifts the focus from being afraid of failure itself to being afraid of remaining inauthentic – a subtle but profound change.
“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.”
— Søren Kierkegaard
“The greatest hazard of all, losing one’s self, can occur very quietly in the world, as if it were nothing at all.”
— Søren Kierkegaard
If failure isn’t an end, but a necessary step on the path to authenticity, it becomes less terrifying. If it shatters a false self, that’s a painful opportunity for true growth, not a pure loss. Failure… don’t just hurt; they expose the inauthentic life we’ve built, forcing us to confront the reality we’ve avoided out of fear. Kierkegaard saw this confrontation as a crucial wake-up call needed for genuine selfhood. By seeing failure this way, the grip of the fear of failure begins to loosen, as the potential for authentic living outweighs the pain of the setback. This is a key step in dealing with the fear of failure.
Lessons from Kierkegaard on How to Overcome Fear of Failure
So how can Kierkegaard’s philosophy help you overcome the fear of failing in your own life?
Here are a few powerful takeaways:
1. Understand That Despair Signals a Need for Authenticity
Feeling fear, anxiety, or despair isn’t proof that you’re weak.
According to Kierkegaard, it’s a signal that you’re being called to live more truthfully — not to abandon yourself, but to find yourself.
2. Redefine What Failure Means
In a world obsessed with winning, it’s easy to see any loss as devastating.
But Kierkegaard invites us to redefine failure:
True failure is not daring to live according to your own truth.
You only truly fail when you stop trying to become yourself.
3. Embrace “Daring” as a Way of Life
Daring doesn’t mean recklessness.
It means being willing to take small, meaningful steps toward your purpose — even when you’re terrified.
As Kierkegaard said, “To dare is to lose one’s footing momentarily.”
Momentary instability is part of growth. Understanding Kierkegaard’s view is powerful — but how can we actually use it in everyday life?
How to Apply Kierkegaard’s Lessons to Overcome Fear of Failing
If you’re ready to start overcoming your fear of failure, here’s how you can apply Kierkegaard’s philosophy in your everyday life:
- Pause and reflect when you feel afraid. Ask yourself: What am I truly afraid of losing — approval, status, or something deeper?
- Shift your definition of success to align with personal authenticity, not just external achievements.
- Take one small, courageous action today. One tiny act of daring can build momentum.
- Accept discomfort as part of the process. Feeling anxious doesn’t mean you’re on the wrong path — it often means you’re stepping into growth.
Courage isn’t the absence of fear. It’s daring to move forward even while carrying fear.
Final Thoughts: Dare to Become Yourself
The fear of failure never truly disappears.
But with Kierkegaard’s wisdom, you can begin to see it not as an enemy, but as a signpost — a reminder that you’re standing at the edge of something real, something meaningful.
Failure doesn’t define you.
Daring to live authentically does.
Which of Kierkegaard’s ideas about failure resonated most with you? Share your thoughts in the comments below or pass this article along to someone who might need it today!
If you’re struggling with the fear of failure, you may also be facing self-doubt. Check out my article on overcoming self-doubt, where I share practical strategies for tackling doubt and how it can hold you back from embracing your true potential.
Frequently Asked Questions About Fear of Failure (FAQ)
Yes, fear of failure is completely normal. Kierkegaard’s philosophy on anxiety shows that feeling fear when facing life’s risks is part of being human. Fear of failure simply means you are stepping outside your comfort zone and embracing your freedom — not that something is wrong with you.
You don’t have to wait for the fear of failure to disappear. Kierkegaard’s idea of “daring” suggests taking small, imperfect steps forward even when you’re scared. Each small act of courage weakens fear’s ability to paralyze you.
Atychiphobia is the extreme or irrational fear of failure. While Kierkegaard wasn’t a psychologist, his work on anxiety helps explain how deep fears like atychiphobia can arise from struggles with freedom, choice, and authenticity.
Overcoming fear of failure isn’t about erasing it but learning to manage it. Kierkegaard’s philosophy suggests that daring to face failure is essential for living authentically. The goal is to stop fear from controlling your decisions.
Fear of failure is the fear of negative outcomes, while imposter syndrome is the fear of being exposed as a fraud despite success. Both often intertwine, with imposter syndrome fueling deeper fears of failure and self-doubt.
Learning from failure reframes it as valuable feedback instead of a final judgment. Kierkegaard’s view of failure as a wake-up call reminds us that growth comes through facing mistakes, reducing the fear of failing in the future.
Philosophically, fear of failure often comes from living inauthentically — chasing external approval instead of following inner truth. Kierkegaard also points to the anxiety of real freedom, where the possibility of failure is unavoidable.
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